Have you ever stopped to wonder how such a wonderful
thing as friendship occurs? What is it that places a connection between two
people where they would have a level of trust and consideration to call
themselves friends instead of acquaintances? Merriam-Webster defines a friend
as “one attached to another by affection or esteem; a favored companion.” What
needs to occur to transform a person from a stranger to a favored companion?
Making new friends seems to get harder the older a person
gets, at least in my experience. There are les opportunities to make true
“friends”. Yet, occasionally, the stars align, circumstances click into place,
and two people get the chance to meet, bond, and ultimately become friends.
Such a situation happened to me in the days leading up to my 40th
birthday.
The Tale of Ryo Turning 40
In the months before my 40th birthday, I found
myself listening to scads of songs by the Dave Matthews Band. I had established
a real appreciation for their live shows in ways I never did before and the
band was quickly rising to a top 5 favorite band status, which was huge. The
top 5 was reserved for the best of the best, bands I had listened to and loved
all my life. KISS, Pearl Jam, Bruce Springsteen. How could Dave Matthews Band,
a band that I had only recently begun to really love, take over a coveted top 5
spot? And yet, here they were, knocking on the door of all time most loved
bands.
In 2012, I traveled to see DMB for the first time. I
drove to SPAC and took my nephew to witness the band live and I journeyed to
Bethel Woods to see DMB in concert. Granted these wee not journeys of thousands
of miles, but they were the first road trips I had undertaken to see a band give
a live representation of their music since migrating to Hartford, CT, to attend
a Billy Joel outing. Setting out twice in the same summer to watch a band was
huge for me.
With my 40th birthday approaching and midlife
crisis near full bloom, I wanted to do something completely out of the
ordinary. I wanted to have my own little adventure complete with a road trip,
music, and lots of fun that I would remember for years. I wanted to seize the
moment and be completely unpredictable. I just wasn’t completely sure what I
wanted that something to be.
When Dave Matthews Band announced tour dates for their
2013 tour, I knew I wanted to enjoy a show or two. And seeing the shows alone
was not the best solution. My challenge with Dave Matthews Band is that I don’t
have many friends who are into the band, and the ones that are won’t travel to
see them. My wife can’t stand the band (I still love her though) and she will
not go to a DMB concert, let alone travel to one. My other friends who like DMB
will go to a local show, but that’s about it. And that summer, the only local
show DMB would perform was at the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel, New Jersey. That
show would be watched with my friend Rick, but any other show was going to be a
solo venture at best.
Enter AntsMarching.org. For the unenlightened,
antsmarching.org is the best fan site in existence for the Dave Matthews Band.
They post band news, tour information, band bios, original podcasts about the
group, and they have one of the best forum pages on the web. It is a fan’s
euphoria website dedicated to everything Dave Matthews Band. The site has been
around forever, but I joined the community in 2012 when my interest in DMB
concerts, setlists, and happenings was at an all-time high.
As mentioned, the website has a forum page where like-minded
fans can set up topics, leave messages, and interact with the rabid DMB
community fan base. I continued to hem and haw about what to do for my 40th
birthday and tried to determine if it would ultimately be trip to multiple
venues with an audience of one. It was my wife’s gentle suggestion that I post
on the forum to see if anyone was interested in travelling from NJ to the shows
in CT that changed my life forever.
I had concluded that I wanted to see the three shows
happening the weekend of my birthday. On June 6th, I would see the
band in Holmdel. On June 7th and 8th, I would witness the
band live in Hartford. On June 9th, I would turn 40 and drive home.
It sounded like a terrific celebration to 40 years of life. The problem of
going alone still existed however, but I decided that was all right. This was
an opportunity that I didn’t want to miss out on. How often was I going to be
able to see Dave Matthews Band in concert for a milestone birthday?
At the urging of my wife, I did post on the forum to see
if anyone was responsive to wandering from NJ to CT and back again. I put the
post up and really didn’t think much of it. I figured that maybe one or two
people may inquire, but most likely no one would. And I was okay with that. If going
alone was the ultimate outcome, then so be it. I was still going to see Dave
Matthews Band three nights in a row and would celebrate my birthday in style.
Can you imagine my surprise when there was an actual
response to my post? Someone was interested in taking the ride with me? On top
of that, the someone was female, travelling alone, and coming from Australia. I
sat there in disbelief scratching my head. Was this for real? What woman from
another country asks a complete stranger for a ride from one state to another?
Was she some sort of psycho killer? Was I going to get murdered on the highway?
Was I going to die before turning 40? This had to be some sort of a scam.
The Tale of Ryo and Snaz
Snaz was interested in experiencing a round trip from
Jersey to Connecticut. She also proclaimed
that she might need a ride to the NJ venue if possible. I was more than happy
to give her a lift to the Jersey venue and delighted to have a fellow DMB fan
take a trip to Hartford with me. I did explain to her that the Holmdel show would
include another friend, so she was going to be hanging with two guys she didn’t
know before the show. She seemed totally fine with that which made me laugh.
How crazy was this woman?
I don’t recall the exact nuances of our initial exchange,
but know that the first occurred approximately four months before the shows. We
exchanged pleasantries and introductions and a little information about
ourselves. She told me her name, but that she was referred to as Snaz by her
friends. She explained that she was a huge fan of the Dave Matthews Band and
was taking a trip to America to see them in concert at several venues across
the USA. I thought that was tremendous and the sign of a devoted fan. Who goes
to other countries to see their favorite band?
Over the next few months, we exchanged several emails,
feeling each other out and confirming our comfort level with one another to
take this kind of trip. She friended my wife on Facebook and confirmed that
Mrs. Vie was okay with me taking a long road trip on the weekend of my 40th
birthday with an unknown foreign woman. My wife was totally fine with it
because she is one of the best women in the world and our relationship of trust
is that solid.
Over the course of email exchanges, Snaz and I connected
and got to know each other. We told each other stories of how we became fans of
DMB, and I told her about my wife’s hatred for the band.
We bonded through the power of internet email and by the time the concerts
arrived the first twinges of friendship were in bloom.
The Tale of Night One
On the evening of the New Jersey concert, Rick and I met
Snaz in the parking lot of her hotel and headed toward the show. There was
barely any awkward silence as we talked and laughed and looked forward to
seeing Dave Matthews Band in concert. Snaz had a good seat in the front of the
venue, while Rick and I were delegated to the lawn. We tailgated with beer and
submarine sandwiches and listened to tales of Snaz’ American travels. Rick and
I also shared stories of our friendship and how we met and remained friends. By
show time we were all filled with delight.
The opening act for all three nights was a band I did not
know at the time, The Head and The Heart. Having never heard their music, I was
in no particular rush to see their set, a decision I would come to regret
later. We stayed in the parking lot a little longer and then slowly made out
way inside the venue. Snaz went for her seat and Rick and I picked our spots on
the lawn.
DMB took the stage not long after we staked our claim on
the lawn and the night was off and running. Highlights from night one included
a “Tripping Billies” opener, a fantastic version of “Recently,” an amazing
version of “Cry Freedom,” and a spectacular “So Right” in the encore. Rick
wanted to hear “Satellite” in the worst way, and I told him that the chances
were slim. It certainly wasn’t a song that they played at every concert. He was
disappointed but still had a great time overall.
“Cry Freedom” was one of those DMB songs that I never
really appreciated until I saw it live. Prior to that June night, “Cry Freedom”
was a song that I skipped over a lot whenever listening to Crash. It’s not that I thought it was a terrible song, it’s just
that it was far from one of my favorites---definitely lower third on the most
enjoyed songs by DMB list.
And that’s one of the magnificent enjoyments of seeing
live concerts. As an audience member, you can come away with an appreciation
for a certain song that may not have been there prior. There was no choice that
night, I had to listen to “Cry Freedom.” This was a live concert. I couldn’t
just skip over the song. So, I leaned back and really listened to the song
probably for the first time in my life. Halfway through it I was mesmerized.
Why hadn’t I given this song more love before that moment? Since then, “Cry
Freedom” has become one of my favorite Dave Matthews Band songs and I yearn to
hear it when I see them in concert.
Night one was a success and a stupendous way to start my
birthday weekend.
Setlist From Night
One:
June 6, 2013 (PNC Bank Arts Center)
Tripping Billies
Save Me
Rooftop
Don’t Drink The Water
Mercy
The Idea Of You
#41
Spaceman
Cornbread
Recently
Grey Street
Captain
Belly Belly Nice
Cry Freedom
Crash Into Me
Drive In Drive Out
Jimi Thing
Encore:
So Right
Ants Marching
Ants Marching
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