I was but a wee babe in the teenager wilderness when one
of the most phenomenal rock albums of all time was released. In the summer of 1987 a little known band out
of Hollywood California quietly unveiled their debut album, Appetite For Destruction. As hard as it
is to believe now, the launch of the one of the most magnificent debuts in rock
history received little to no fanfare. It would be months before a single even
charted and more than a year before the album sales exploded. During the summer
of its release, Appetite For Destruction was
largely unknown and unheard.
That also happened to be the summer before my freshmen
year of high school. I too was arriving with little to no fanfare, and it would
also take me months before I charted or got any social traction at all. And as
I made my transition from gawky, awkward junior high school student, to gawky,
awkward high school student, I was still being spoon fed my music by Dial MTv.
Bands like Poison, Cinderella, and Europe were about as heavy metal as I got. I
had yet to discover the joys of Metallica and I didn’t know Judas Priest from Catholic
Priest.
Enter Guns N Roses. I’m going to admit something that I
rarely, if ever, confess to: the first time I heard “Welcome To The Jungle” I
thought it was horrible. It was one afternoon while watching the aforementioned
Dial MTv and this hot new band from Hollywood California made their way into
the most requested videos show with their song “Welcome To The Jungle.” I
watched with much interest, hoping to hear the next Poison or Warrant. What I
got was something that I had never heard before in my young life. The drastic
difference from what I was used to filling my ears with was so extreme that my
mind couldn’t process the change and I immediately rejected the idea of that
music. Seasons would pass before I even warmed up to that song.
Thankfully the band chose a different song for their
second single. It was the endless playing of “Sweet Child Of Mine” that finally
forced me to own Appetite For
Destruction. For as much as I thought “Welcome To The Jungle” was awful, I
thought “Sweet Child Of Mine” was magnificent. The opening guitar sang out in
ways I had never known possible and I honestly thought it was the best song
ever recorded. It was the new “Stairway To Heaven” as far as my ears were
concerned. There would never be a better song in the history of rock songs. That
is what my 14 year old mind thought of “Sweet Child Of Mine.” I loved that song
whole heartedly, and knew that I had to own it so it could be enjoyed over and
over and over again as often as my teenage heart desired.
Welcome to freshman year of high school. Just prior to my
fifteenth birthday, life had gotten extremely chaotic in the Vie household. My
mother and stepfather were divorcing, my sister was graduating and preparing
for college, and there was a girl. Of course there was a girl. There’s always a
girl, isn’t there? At least before college graduation and the settling pace of
middle aged life there was always a girl. This girl was the crush of my
freshmen spring, and probably the biggest crush that I had in all of high school.
She was beautiful, kind, caring, sweet, and older. Yes, even then Ryo liked the
older ladies.
And while the pace of life was berserker in other areas,
birthdays remained special. Mom always made sure that our birthdays were
properly celebrated and acknowledged, something I have since passed down to my
family. And with life turning upside down in our house that year, I wasn’t
actually sure how my birthday would be celebrated. But Mom was. She made sure
that it was once again something special.
So for my fifteenth birthday, Mom decided that she would
take me on a record buying spree. I was allowed five albums (or cassette tapes,
as that’s what us kids purchased back then) as my birthday present, followed by
lunch at the restaurant of my choice. And while I don’t remember what I picked
for lunch, I do remember every album I purchased that day. I can see them in my
line of vision like they were only purchased a day ago. And the pinnacle of
those albums was of course, Appetite For
Destruction. When we got home that evening, I was ecstatic to listen to all
of my new treasures, but there was one tape that I had to play first.
The first listening of Appetite For Destruction left me mesmerized. I knew that this
record was something special. What I didn’t know at the time was that I was
hearing one of the few true rock masterpieces; a record that would spawn
endless imitators and influence more teenagers to perform music than the
Beatles did twenty years earlier. Appetite
For Destruction absolutely shaped my teenage years and completely altered
my listening experience and expectations. This album led me down the path to
bands like Metallica and Iron Maiden.
And as my freshman year of high school ushered to a
close, my love for Guns N Roses entered a beginning. I imagine that freshman
year of high school is tough on just about any kid, with the exception of maybe
the super confident and/or super athletic. There are just too many
upperclassmen around to give one a hard time. It is awkward being the new guy,
more awkward being the low man on the totem pole, and even more awkward being
the new guy, low man on the totem pole, with a crush on an upperclassman. Or
should that be upperclasswoman? Either way, it was a lady that I pined for and
she had me by two grade levels. As previously stated, I always had a thing for
older women.
Laurie worked at a flower store, and the budding romantic
in me wanted to do something so cool, so drastic, so unbelievable that it would
sweep her off her feet and we would waltz away like the end of a Hollywood tearjerker.
I got the idea that I would buy a rose at her shop and hand it to her with an
ultra cool look and a heart-melting smile charming her right into my arms.
Unfortunately, I was about as smooth as chunky peanut butter on burnt toast
with no milk to wash it down. Yet what I
lacked in posterity, I made up for with determination. And I was determined to
have Laurie. She was endlessly on my mind and in my waking thoughts. I was
obsessed and knew that something dramatic had to be done in order to get her
attention.
And so the plan was set. With my best friend by my side,
we rode our bikes to the local flower store. Tommy agreed to wait for me out
back, keeping an eye on our bicycles in case, as I joked, we needed to make a
quick getaway. I don’t remember if I scoped out her schedule ahead of time, or
just decided to wing it, but I do know that when I sauntered into that flower
store, Laurie was working that day. And as soon as the little bell over the
door rang, she emerged from the back of the store like a fashion model in a
runway show.
My heart burst rapid fire beats into my chest. My mouth
dried and I got a little dizzy gazing at the most beautiful woman in the world.
I paused to give serious thought to what
I was about to do. What the hell was wrong with me? There was no way that this woman
was going to talk to me, let alone fall into my arms. Was I nuts?
And yet, determined me said, “Too bad, we are doing
this.” And so it went. If my life were a movie, “You’re Crazy” would have
played just before I entered the flower store, and “Sweet Child Of Mine” would
have erupted when Laurie appeared from the back room. As it was, my life was
far from a movie, so the only songs that played were in my head. And they
couldn’t overcome the buzzing in my brain about how this was a bad idea.
Laurie gave me a smile of recognition that almost knocked
me to my knees. Her “Hello,” was the sweetest sound ever heard. When she asked
how I was, I knew she meant it. Wow! Laurie knew who I was and wanted to know
how I was doing. Heaven couldn’t have been this great! Pushing aside all of my
fear and doubts, I surged forward and explained that I needed to get one single
red rose. As Laurie smiled and set off to pick out the best rose possible, I urged
myself not to screw this up. Push forward and be cool! Don’t be a dweeb! Man
up!
The rose was selected and as she wrapped it in meticulous
fashion, small talk was made. I barely heard a word she was saying, mostly
nodding and holding back drool. I probably looked like an escaped mental
patient, but couldn’t help myself. My palms were sweaty, my nerves were a
wreck, and my deepest, darkest desires and dreams were about to either become a
sparkling reality or get stomped into the ground and added to the ever
increasing pile of life scars.
When she completed the presentation, the rose was handed
to me with another smile and the most wonderful “it was nice to see you” that I
had ever heard. With a puff of the chest I took in a gulp of air and went to hand
the rose back to her uttering the magical phrase “this is for you.” I was ready
to look like Sir Lancelot. Instead, fear paralyzed me and all I could do was
stare at her like a deer in headlights. If she didn’t think I escaped the
mental institution earlier, she most certainly thought that now.
My throat seized, my lips refused to move, and I was held
speechless and lost complete control of my entire body. What was going on? I
was blowing it! Damn it!!! Thankfully, Laurie helped to make things slightly
easier by saying goodbye and disappearing into the back room once again. Like a
panic struck rabbit sensing he is about to be eaten, I bolted. Quick thinking
had me grab a message card from the counter, write the unspoken phrase “It’s
For You,” (I believe I chose the card that said I love you, just like any
psychotic stalker would), and exit through the entrance door, a world of
emotions swirling through my entire body.
And as I exited the scene, there was my best friend
rampantly asking “What happened? How did it go? Did you get a date with her?”
I shook my head and told him we needed to leave,
immediately. Tommy was confused but quickly followed as I hopped on my bike and
tore ass out of that flower shop parking lot. I must have pedaled more than a mile
away before I finally stopped to tell him what transpired as well as scold
myself for lacking the balls to speak to her. Idiot!
That night I stayed up in my room listening to Appetite For Destruction over and over
again. I would occasionally rewind “Sweet Child Of Mine” two or three times in
a row, but other than that, I just let the cassette play and thought of Laurie.
What a fool I was! How in the world did I freeze up like that? Why couldn’t I
have just told her? What a coward I was!
The next morning, Laurie slipped me a note. And while it
wasn’t the jubilant praises of love and lust that I had hoped for, it was a
nice, quick, little note. “Thank you for the rose.” That’s all that was written
on it, as no more needed to be said. Things were quiet for a few days after
that. I wanted time to regain my composure and confidence, and there must have
been a ton of thoughts going through Laurie’s head, because I did not hear from
her or see her after that. Not even in passing while moving from one class to
the next. Her lack of communication filled me with several thought patterns
ranging from understanding to flat out rage. Finally, after a few days of
moping and sulking, I decided that it was time to make my move.
Just as all the leading men did in every romance movie I
ever saw (extreme sarcasm applied) I wrote Laurie a letter, asking if we could
get together for a movie, a lunch date, or some other such option. By this
point, I knew which locker was hers and slipped the note in there, hoping for
the best. Another day would go by before a response was received. Then, the
next afternoon, while heading to Spanish class, I saw the beauty of all
beauties walking down the hall and she was headed straight for me. Boom!
Fireworks exploded in front of my eyes, “It’s So Easy,” sang out in my head,
Laurie and I were going to go on a date and she was coming toward me to fall
into my arms! Oh happy day!
Not so fast, Casanova. As she passed me in the hall, she
slipped me a note and kept her stride. I looked at her, but she continued to
move away, so I took the note and hoped for the best. Maybe she wanted to
profess her love to me on paper, so that I would be able to show the entire
world! Maybe she had so much to say that she had to write it down! Maybe I was
her knight in shining armor!
I took the note to class and flopped into my desk, trying
my best to keep from passing out. This note only held the keys to my entire
future…no big deal. Either I was going to be a man walking on air, or in front
of a train. The contents of the note would determine my fate.
As the students settled into the classroom, I carefully
unfolded the letter of fate. Not knowing what to expect, I took in a deep
breath and began to read. Unfortunately, it was very clear by the third sentence
that we would not be walking off into the sunset together. It was actually the
exact opposite. I give Laurie a lot of credit; she was completely honest with
me. She explained that as nice as she thought I was, the age difference
bothered her and she was interested in someone in her own grade level. She
appreciated how much attention I paid to her, and she reiterated that the rose
was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for her, but she just
couldn’t see us together. And as much as it hurt then, to this day, I still
appreciate her honesty. And I still have that letter. Maybe one day I’ll scan
it and post it as a follow up….
I can still see Laurie’s face whenever I close my eyes
and listen to the opening notes of “Sweet Child Of Mine.” She ended up dating
the boy she mentioned in the letter, and they eventually got married. After she
graduated high school, I never saw or heard from Laurie again. I’ve looked her
up a few times, but she doesn’t have a Facebook page or any other type of
social media account, unless she is going by an alias. I would love to finally
be able to take her out to lunch now, strictly plutonic of course, and laugh
about that year of my life. But I would also like to thank her. She showed me
how sweet some people can be.
